By Vered Amit, Noel Dyck
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Extra resources for Claiming Individuality: The Cultural Politics of Distinction
There are a lot of taboos, which you would rather keep away from. I still don’t attend weddings. I don’t go to the temple. qxd 10/6/06 1:33 PM Page 41 Self, Individuality and Family in an Iyangar Family 41 to, I believe. So I would rather not find out. I would rather not go there and … face a snub. I don’t feel it’s necessary. Why should I? I have had enough hassles in life. So, why go there and wonder if they’ve turned away or maybe [I’ve] imagined [the] slight … ah … maybe they don’t mean to hurt but they do hurt you all the same.
The whole family [Nalani’s] saw the problem: Kalyani couldn’t live with her in-laws. Narayan couldn’t live without them. So we thought the earlier the two were separated, the better. qxd 34 10/6/06 1:33 PM Page 34 Claiming Individuality should not be put in a position where she can’t escape. She might commit suicide. The whole family felt that she should leave, even my father. And the family went to Narayan and told him. 4 Kalyani is a real life heroine. Kalyani is a very enterprising, gutsy person.
Qxd 28 10/6/06 1:33 PM Page 28 Claiming Individuality that responsibility for one’s own life should be located in individual choices and self-reliance. The narrators see themselves as participating agents in this transition and as capable of leaving the old ways behind, even if they are not fully ready to do so. DESCRIBING SELF AND FAMILY: FOUR NARRATIVES In 1968, newly married to Nalani, Krishnan was a young, neophyte lawyer making only pocket money. In those early days of his marriage, he supported his new family with the rent he earned from the three other flats in the four-plex that was and is his residence.