By Nicci French
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Shannon used to be thirteen and she or he desired to die. She hated her parents,her physique, her friends--her existence. She by no means felt lovely or well known sufficient. She struggled with ingesting. She was once sexually assaulted. She approximately starved herself. yet Shannon survived her ache and slowly all started discovering peace in herlife. With heat and perception, Shannon McLinden stocks the real tale of her trip via habit and melancholy, delivering a lifeline of help for women in all places.
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If we went away together, I want to drink and I want to sleep. ’ She snorted. ‘As if. ’ She hooted with laughter and Lola shifted on her lap. ’ ‘Well, it’s only been a couple of days. ’ ‘Yeah. Sorry. I think I kind of rely on you to give me some vicarious excitement. ’ ‘Hardly. ’ She sounded wistful. ’ I knew she didn’t, of course – we’d been in a recorder class together when we were eleven, but that was about it. ’ ‘His name’s Neal. I’m not sure you actually met him. I didn’t know him that well.
No. ’ ‘I couldn’t do it on my own,’ I said. ’ ‘This is crazy. Look at him. He’s big. ’ She gave a small, high laugh that stopped as abruptly as it had started, though the harsh sound seemed to hang in the room. ’ ‘It’s mad – and it would be horrible. I feel sick even thinking about it. Have you allowed yourself to imagine what it would be like? He’s dead. ’ ‘Oh, no! ’ ‘What? Don’t talk about it? If you can’t even bear to talk about it, how will you actually do it? That’s what happens, isn’t it?
Her face was pale and I could see beads of sweat on her forehead. ’ Even now I couldn’t say it. ’ Blood pounded in my head. I could feel myself turning hot and red with such shame I felt I’d scorch and burn up with it. ’ ‘You stupid, stupid, stupid idiot. Oh, Bonnie! ’ She gestured blindly towards the body. ’ ‘This is so, so…’ Sonia trailed off. Again, she put a hand over her mouth as if to stop unwanted words spilling out of her. ’ She gestured with her hand, blindly. Her face wrinkled for a moment.